ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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