she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Randomize