My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
