No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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