ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
