fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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