Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
