Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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