I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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