I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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