road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
And then he peed in my hair
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
