The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
