So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Even my vagina gasped.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
