I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Can I color on your dick again?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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