That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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