How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
