Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it because I queefed?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
