got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize