yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
