He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
