i permit you to call me
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
