youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
