I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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