New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
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