I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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