Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
