omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize