Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
