She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize