:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
