Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
