I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
two words: eviction party
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
