Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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