Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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