we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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