I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
