If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
