dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
