I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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