u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i out mim tonsoeep
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