Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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