you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
