then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize