just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Can you bring me the toilet please
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
