Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
