One girl and one boy is just not enough.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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