it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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