I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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