just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The Olympian is in my bed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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