I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
