I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
