I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
