There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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