I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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