How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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