yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
