I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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