Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
