guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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