I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
