Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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