Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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