Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize