no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
well you can't waste a boner
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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