The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
