her facebook's as public as her vagina
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
