i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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