In the future we'll all be gay
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
