Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
