Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
