i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize