i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize