Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
