were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize