I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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