just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
