Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
