They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
