the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
