It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
