We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
