She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I will be naked everywhere
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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