guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just forgot I was standing up.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
