you guys were way drunker than both of me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
