I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize