Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
